Couples

It’s the time of year where the grocery store is full of candy in red and pink packages, drawing me like a moth to a flame.



But this is not a candy post. Oh, no. It’s a Valentine post.

Yes, Valentine’s Day, not Singles Awareness Day.

I know many of my readers, as well as many of my friends, are single, and I don’t mean this as any offense. I see people shouting from rooftops how being single is better than being in a relationship or married, and that people like Michael and I might as well be dead because we don’t live a fabulous, single life like they do.

Here’s the thing: I don’t do well on my own. 

Hasn’t showered in 3 days, decides to adopt 400 cats in one bedroom apartment in NYC.

Michael left town last week for a business trip, and my week consisted of: train to Philly, visit to sister and bro-in law’s, early morning flight to Indianapolis, audition, late night flight back to New York, four nine hour work days, a night of babysitting, finally putting together Ikea shelves, hanging said shelves, hanging pictures, making homemade chili, baking homemade bread, altering two shirts, reading a 300 page novel, crocheting four squares for an afghan I’m making, six hours of television, and eight fitful, restless, lonely hours of sleep at night.

And I was bored and lonely.

I don’t pity those who aren’t in a relationship–everyone’s circumstances are different, and sometimes you find yourself at a different place in life over holidays. But the wrenching self-pity around this holiday  just grates on my nerves. I know someone whose wife died on his birthday, just before Christmas. Still feeling bad that you’re missing out on Valentine’s Day as marketed by Kay Jewelers?

Michael and I don’t even really celebrate Valentine’s Day–there are no gifts, we don’t like crowds, so we don’t go to restaurants, and since we have sex every day sleep in separate twin beds, Valentine’s Day is nothing really exciting for us.

Sure, we threw on our matching zombie t-shirts and went to see Warm Bodies, but we’d go see a zombie movie any time of the year.

And that’s just it–I don’t like Valentine’s Day, and not because it celebrates couples and leaves out the singles.

I don’t like it because I don’t need one day a year to celebrate how much I love that guy I married. I celebrate it every day. And this may bother our single friends…I wouldn’t know, as they don’t vomit in front of us at our cuteness, nor do they seem to harbor any resentment at our unrelenting happiness.

If you’re lonely on Valentine’s Day, don’t mire in self-pity and loneliness at home in your pajamas. Throw on a bathrobe, and come sit in your pajamas with Michael and me. And if you can’t get there, give us a call or Skype us. Loneliness is a choice, and love, love is more than just between two people–it extends to our family and to our friends.

But I’m not sharing my candy.


Yes, I’m hiding under a table. Gorging on candy. With demon eyes.

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