Completely Rational

From Joanie:

When you live in NYC, just like anywhere else, you have bad days. But because NYC does everything bigger and louder, a bad day can’t just ever be a bad day and be done. It has to be obnoxiously bad, and so completely rational responses to things just happen:

  • Checked email in the morning, received three rejections.
  • The washing machine leaked all over the floor. I didn’t notice because instead of babysitting the washer, I dared to eat my breakfast.
  • Got into a fight with that guy I married over perceived career failures and the aforementioned washing machine failure.
  • Stomped off to the subway. A man put a bag of dog [expletive deleted] on a ledge near the entrance– the ledge old ladies use to hold on to as they walk up the hill. Made eye contact and said “not a trash can” under my breath. Completely rational response to public flaunting of dog responsibility and laws. Said man followed me to the subway, shouting obscenities about how he wouldn’t leave it in a bag if he wasn’t planning to clean it up and how stupid I am even though he is the one who didn’t walk three feet to a trash can to throw out bacteria coated feces. Threw my hands in the air and shouted that he could go [expletive deleted]  [expletive deleted]  [expletive deleted] himself (Sorry mom).
  • Missed 8:34 train. By seconds.
  • Got on the next train and cried publicly. No one (thanks, New York) acknowledged my completely rational rage cry on the train.
  • Went to my day job. Dealt with weird stuff including a coworker’s trash story:
My coworker was leaving for work when she noted that her neighbors left a large trash bag, brimming with takeout containers, next to the trash chute. As they’re on the first floor, this is an invitation for the rats to just come on in! So she opened the bag and dug through it till she found a receipt with the person’s name on it, found their apartment number from the mailbox list, and left the bag of trash hanging on their door. She then washed her hands and left for work, knowing full well she would be late. Completely rational.
  • Told my co-worker her reaction was completely rational.
  • Man gets in my way on my way home to ask me if I wanted a bike rental. Shouted (while wearing a suit and heels, which does not look like bike riding gear to me), “Do I look like I want an  [expletive deleted] bicycle ride?”
Completely. Rational. 
  • Ate half a sandwich left over from lunch on the subway to rehearsal like a complete slob. Smiled with a mouth full of arugula at anyone who looked at me funny.
Completely  [expletive deleted] Rational.
  • Went to rehearsal, sang with lovely people and experienced calm for the first time all day.
  • Subway home– a girl was watching tv on her phone without headphones at the opposite end and I couldn’t read in  [expletive deleted] peace. Walked to the other end of the train, and said “don’t you have headphones? I can hear that at the other end of the train.” She said, “No I don’t” as if it were a challenge and looked back at her glowing screen. Said, “well you’re being VERY rude” and walked back to the other end of the train. Glared at her until she turned it off.
  • Went home, sat on the couch. The cat knocked over my glass of water. Glared at her, and she scurried off to hide under a piece of furniture. 
  • Accepted that it was just not my  [expletive deleted] day. Completely rational. 

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