New Year Bleh-solutions

‘Tis the season, friends.

The month of the year when fitness centers make all of their money.

The beginning of another nine months of trying to remember to write down a new number at the end of the date.

A time of semi-forced and personal growth in the form of New Year’s Resolutions, promises that you make to yourself and then either forget about or grow increasingly angry / resentful towards by about mid-February.

Some of you have already come up with your own New Year’s Resolutions and are buoyantly shouting them from the rooftops.

Get off of that rooftop. It’s cold, and nobody cares.

Some of you don’t see much point and aren’t planning to take part.

And some of you may be having a hard time choosing a Resolution that feels right for you. So Joanie and I are here to help! With awesome semi-motivational-but-not-really posters!

Feel free to consider any of the following your easily-attainable New Year’s Resolution, and thank us for the sense of accomplishment and gratification you achieve upon their completion.

In advance:


Naps are good.

How much can a dermatologist cost, anyway... Probably... probably a lot.

Close Your Heart


Lower them. Come on. Just take them down a notch.



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